So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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