the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
