you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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