The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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