I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he fucked my hip out of place.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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