How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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