he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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