A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ugly people sure do ruin things
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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