I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
