Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
