drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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