yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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