sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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