Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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