What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
