Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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