I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Michael Bay diarrhea
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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