As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
