I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Pants are for mortals
My feet surprised me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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