oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
