I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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