im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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