That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is wine microwaveable?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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