my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
