Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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