My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
