She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just tell him i said nine months
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize