Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
