Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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