Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize