so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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