She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
