If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
