No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
