i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This is my gift to your gina
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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