i will never coherently bang her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
