What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
