He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
