Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
