i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
