Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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