Swine flu. Run for my life!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
