just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
