I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
