the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
