i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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