Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
