I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
