i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
