And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
