please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
