Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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