what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
