May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
