When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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