i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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