One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
